9th Entry: Goodbye

Dear Diary,

Loads of catch-up to do. So i will be abstaining myself from facebook, blogging, watching my current fave korean drama and fifa online 2.
Im getting quite good at the game but i guess im gonna have to give it up.
Focus Focus.
Hocus Focus.

Perhaps i will still drop by to write some stuff.

Regards,
Aaron

8th Entry: Back Again

No. 8 entry. Huat ah! Although its the mid term break, life haven't been that smooth for me. Somehow things are not going the way that I have anticipated. Need some inspiration to bring me back to life. Shall have a longer entry tomorrow.

7th Entry: A Summary of 2 Days

Yesterday was one of the usual long Mondays. Returned home with an intention to really focus on my essay and slides presentation.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. Initially I thought it was just another saleseperson trying his luck at my door but it turned out that my family paid a surprise visit to see how was my dad doing. It came quite unexpectedly as it was a Monday. Had another long chat with my cousin, imparted all my secondary school studying skills to him and introduced to him about what poly life is like. I hope somehow my counseling would help him. Went to bed not long after my external family left. Woke up early to edit my long long essay.

Today was quite a fast paced day. While waiting for the rest in the biz library, I managed to do some MNO. Wanted to touch a bit on law but i totally knocked out after writing the title "Tutorial 4". Went for the mini class gathering with chiew hong, mike,guo hwee, rayna and ho yin.. I am very tired right now. Perhaps I should sleep first and wake up earlier later. Really wish to write more but my mind is pretty blank right now.

6th Entry: Positive news that i hope would last

Just received news that my dad could be discharged. Thank God and the prayers of my friends. There are still many things I want to do to give them a better life. Get my future stable job and bring them all around the world is one of my dreams. There are just so many many other things.

5th Entry: Awaiting

Still no news yet. Its a Saturday and with tomorrow being a Sunday, I guess the doctors are working on a much slower pace.

So I went to church as usual as with every Saturday with the rest of my family. My mum didn't want to alert the rest of my family about the situation as she didn't want them to worry too much. Thus I kinda had to lie and mislead, giving reasons why she didn't want to head out today. Im just so bad at lying that in the end they came out with the lie instead. They came out with conclusions on why she was not free and i just agreed on, nodding my head innocently.

We went to have dinner at Bishan. Usually I am always quiet, and do most of the listening. However today I didn't know what got into me, I just began to preach life lessons to my cousin. He is currently taking his O's this year but he's not too much of the academic type of person. I went on telling him about what he should do, on issues such as working hard, having confidence and taking action. I also mentioned that life is not just all about academic stuff, there are still many things that you gotta learn such as perserverence, fighting spirit and drive. Education is important but having good life skills are equally essential. In future, employers are not going to employ you just because you have a first class honours, what they want are the qualities that you possess, that is what that make the difference.

A dream will forever remain be a dream, never a reality unless you put it in to action.

Dare to try everything, never be afraid, enjoy and appreciate your youth as you only live once.

I "preached" till my throat practically went dry. After all the talks, it kinda reminded me of so much stuff which I have forgotten to put into practice. Suddenly the motivation and drive came back into me.

A usually quiet me suddenly became an unusually chatty me.

At home, I had a long talk with my mum about life, I hoped she felt better after the talk.

Dear God, please continue to care for my dad.

4th Entry: The Day of Reckoning

Visited my dad today. Today was the very first time i saw him after he was admitted to hospital. When my mum and i reached the hospital, he was not in the ward as he had went for an endoscopy test. He looked very pale and weak when he was back. At times he seemed a little lost and puzzled. So far the full results are not available yet. Really hope that nothing goes wrong. As I spoke to him, my eyes just turned watery, but I tried to look normally. Prayers and hope, may God works his miracles again as he has always done for me.

3rd Entry: The Darkest Day of my life.

My dad collasped today before i woke up. I never knew what happened when i woke up, he was resting on the bed and i thought everything was normal. That was until when he told me that he fainted not too long ago. My mind went blank when i heard what he said. He was so weak that he could not get up. I heard a loud thud as he tried to get up. My heart sank.

My mum rushed back and the ambulance was called. She "forced" me to head to school. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to. In the end, i left for school reluctantly. At school i tried to be normal, but at time my mind would just run wild with thoughts. What was the situation? I called my mum time and time again but she would just say it was fine. But from her voice, i knew it was definately more than fine.

As i decided not to go for community service today at yishun reading stars, i headed straight back home. On the way back, my mind went quite blank, would my mum break any bad news?

In the end there wasn't any news as the diagnosis was not out yet. Im praying hard that verdict would be nothing serious and that it was just a one off situation.

I had to remove my cousins from my facebook account just to not startle the rest of my family. Sorry for that.
**********

My Dad
I must admit that we don't really share a really close relationship. He is not the type that would ask you, " Son, how's your day at school ?" Often we wouldn't share much words but the only common topic that we would talk about is soccer and singaporepools. We are not heavy gamblers but we just enjoy the fun of speculation, making guess works, predicting "kelong" theories.

We don't spend much time together and seldom head out together. When resort world sentosa was opened, he would tell me that there were free buses heading from Ang Mo Kio to the resort. Although i wasn't too interested in going to resort world sentosa but i would make the effort to go just to spend more time with him. We would walk around the place and he would introduce me to the different places as if he was the CEO of Resort Worlds. One of the places that we would often visit is the Singapore Pools at Resort World. We would sit on the comfortable cushions, keeping track of odds while watching soccer on the gigantic screens.

During my off and leave days, I would always follow him without fail to Resort World. We did the same thing over and over again but i still faithfully followed as i just wanted to spend more time with him.

My dad would never ever praise me. He would always critisize and complain about me to my mum. At some point, i was simply annoyed as i felt that whatever i do, i will never statisfy him.

He was out of job for quite a long time. I always question myself why he didn't want to find a job. From what I know, he was a talented forex dealer in the past, grooming many talented young talents. But it seemed that every company he has worked for, always folded in the end. Although he spent most of the time at home, he worked dutifully as a house husband, keeping the house spick and span while taking care of my needs. For that i am proud of what he does.

When i was in primary school, we often played soccer at the field at the back of our old house. He would often be the goal keeper and I was the striker. We had a lot of fun together as i often looked forward to the next game. There was once my favourite fifa 98 ball flew onto the busy road, the cars were many and were fast. Without much hesistation he ran onto the busy road and retrieved my beloved ball.

I really hope that he will be fine when the diagnosis is out. If it meant trading my life for his health, i wouldn't ever mind. Whenever I am in church, i would always pray for one thing, that is good health for my parents, aunt and family. God  I really need you right now.

Tears are stuck in my eyes but they just wouldn't flow out.

2nd Entry: The "Blurring Effect"

MNO tutorial today. I had my speech crafted out but i wasn't really prepared to present. After seeing some reading directly from the script i decided to give it a shot to be the last one to volunteer but the opportunity was siezed away.

" Probably we might not experience the full blown effects of global warming in our life time. But have you spared a thought for the future generations, your sons, daughters and grand children? Why make the innocent of the future suffer for our own selfish overconsumption of what Mother Nature has given to us. The world was created and meant to be sustainable but we humans always think that the world would be able to take whatever we throw at it.


The list of negative global warming effects is inexhaustible. As the old saying goes, prevention is better than cure. So why should we wait for the full blown effects of global warming to occur when each of us can do our part to stop global warming. Let us do our little part by reusing, reducing and recycling. "

This was the core of my speech, the main conclusion. Turned out that someone did use the 3Rs too. I thought the 3Rs was like too retro and was something that belong to the 90s. Lol

Wanted to go to Comex today but felt that theres still some work to be done. It was fate i guess and is there by any chance that blurness is contagious? After OM lecture, i was reaching my usual bus-stop after bidding farewell to my classmates. Had a long walk and was beginning to feel thirsty. I reached into my bag and searched for my bottle. EH MY BOTTLE IS NOT IN THERE? Thoughts ran through my mind: "did i left it in the MNO seminar room or was it left at OM lecture theatre?" Although the bottle was a free gift, I told myself I am going to leave no man or in this case, bottle behind. By not going to Comex, indirectly Im saving my friends' time. They wouldn't have to wait for me as i retrieve my bottle.

Made quick steps back to the theatre, felt like I was going through some obstacle course. There were so many stairs to take, 7- 8 flights i guess. Within less than a time frame of a song, I managed to retrieve my bottle.

***
Do I have a "I want to buy an insurance/savings" face? Without fail, these sales girls always approach me asking for a minute. But sorry girls, Im taken and you all were just a little too late. I just bought my policy 4 years ago from another agent. Thus as I make my way through Ang Mo Kio tunnel daily, I would often try to find a human shield to shield myself away from insurance agents. Today was one of the days whereby I failed in my mission. My human shield "pang seh" me. =X

1st Entry and it all starts over again.

Well its has been a long time since i have written a journal entry.

Heres a little information about my blogging experience.
During primary sch days, my teacher wanted us to keep a journal as part of our english language programme.
My first online blog began in July 2003 and it lasted till somewhere in March 2006.
Then I went in hiatus before further adding 3 more entries in 2008.
As for 2008 till 2010, the interest just wasnt there due to NS commitments.
The stuff that you could write was so limited as you are not suppose to comment about NS stuff, so basically writing was very much limited.

So motivates me to create my first blog?
I guess I have a pretty short term memory when it comes to remembering past events. When I first started my very first blog, i had the intention for it to be a reference of my history. I treasure memories alot, thus I simply don't want to forget the past. We all live each moment once, and every moment is precious to me. Every experience is a learning journey and i don't want to forget every step that i take, whether its good or bad, happy or sad, joyful or sorrowful. Hopefully this is something that i can show to my future wife and kids on what my life was like.

So why start all over again?
I still believe the belief that I had above.
Hopefully, by writing more I can reflect more on my daily events.
To share my thoughts with others.
Improves my language in someway.

Why don't you want to go back to your old blog to publish you entries instead?
Looking back at my old blog at diaryland, I must say it looks quite "obiang". But i am still proud of my creation, my efforts. For this new blog, most probably im not going to focus much on the design, but rather, on the content instead. Another reason why I decided to move to a new site as my archives are quite messed up at my old site.

Why "Change the World, Change Yourself" ?
Its a random thought that just came into my head, but its something that i have often pondered about. If we really want to change the world, we should first change ourselves first. Very often we tend to critisize and judge others unfairly, but have we really taken a look at the mirror in the first place? Are we or have we been behaving in the same manner before?

If we want to change the world, we should change ourselves first. When the world sees how you behave, they might just might be inspired by you to change.

Fresh start, Fresh Site.